Everyone has been to parties that work and parties that do not. Let's look at what makes them different. The best parties have a six elements in common, and there are fairly east steps the host can take to deliver them.

Planning -- Send out invites about 4-6 weeks in advance to get your event on people's calendar before they get booked out. Put time and effort into defining the party and writing an invite that makes it sound attractive and unique. A reason, a theme, special food, at least one planned activity, and some attractive images help drive interest and positive RSVPs from the invitees.

People -- of course people drive the energy at the party, so inviting the right mix and number of people is critical. To get 12 peole to attend, you need invite more than 20. These days people often do not have 20 friends and contacts. A good solution to that is to co-host with one or more other people and bring the best of those networks together.

Place -- Place is one of the obvious elements but not really one of the most important. People in apartments or small houses often do not feel comfortable hosting, but they can consider renting out the building or neighborhood association room. Local parks can provide free, wide-open spaces with tables and barbecues ready to go. If you co-host with someone who does have the space in their home or yard the problem is solved. With a little more effort, you can rent a space on Peerspace.com or Giggster.com for 2 or 3 hours for a few hundred dollars. Changing the place venue adds freshness and novelty to the event. Hosting in a restaurant can work. A private room may be available with no food and beverage minium in the slow time of the afternoon. To avoid high costs in a restaurants, ask people to pay a share, to go Dutch, in the invite. Often the host buys the appetizers or an extra bottle of wine.

Music is one of the most obvious and pervasive elements of the party. Use or rent a sound system that will do the job of carrying the party through some potential flat spots. And change music type and volume to sculpt the vibe you are looking for.

Management -- Don't try to do everything yourself. Ask a few friends to manage a specific function, like 1) photography, 2) music, 3) food and refilling, 4) the bar, 5) the events or the speech, 6) security and safety--who is let in and making sure people are behaving. Friends like having a specific role. If you try to do everything yourself, you will not be able to enjoy your party and guests.

Engagement -- Think of the event engagement in three phases: 1) Introductions, 2) Shared experience, 3) A short toast or appreciative speech.

Introductions that include a fun fact help people strike up conversations with new people. Give people a rough time band of 10-20 seconds each and don't feel bad about interrupting the people who go longer with a humorous: "Find out more one-on-one." As you roll out introductions, encourage people to exchange phone numbers if the make a good connection. Mention it is also ok to refuse at this time with "I'd rather not, maybe after next time we meet."

Shared experiences bring the group together: Examples include guided food or drink tastings, cooked food competitions, a quick trivia quiz, guess the guest, easy party games, dancing, and more. These serve as ice breakers and allow shy people to feel included without stretching too much.

A short toast or speech is a bit of a burden for the host, but it really brings the group together and will be one of the things that makes the party distinctive and memorable. If you are not a good speaker, it's ok to put notes on a card or find someone who is good at it and enjoys doing it.

Delievering these three engagement elements will greatly increase the coherence of the party. The coherence engenders the vibe and feel of the party. Incoherent parties are fragmented and boring and often lead people to feel lonely and awkward, people wonder if they have been there long enough and can leave yet.

Alcohol can play a useful role in lowering people's inhibitions and awkwardness. Free wine or shots from the host can amp up the energy at the party.

Near the end see if someone at the event wants to leverage the attendees and vibe and propose a next event with date and time. That will keep and grow the conections fostered from the current event.